Let’s imagine I’m a copywriter at Loom, the screen recording app.
Loom is releasing a new AI feature – the Filler Word Remover:
Click a button, and all the ‘umms’ and ‘uhhs’ disappear from your video.
My task is to announce this new feature.
1. The Default
First, I start with the most obvious message:
SaaS companies always start their announcements with “Great news!”
But what does it really mean? I asked GPT:
So, I guess unless my new feature can save orcas, it’s not really “great news!”
Oh well. I’m left with:
The problem? “We’re thrilled.”
My readers should be thrilled, not me.
2. Ask: So What?
I use the good old “So What” technique to figure out what my readers actually care about. It goes like this:
Keep asking, ‘So what?’ until you find an unmet need. Or even better, find a specific behavior that comes from that need.
And here’s my new line.
Better. But to make it work, I need to demonstrate the feature, not just talk about it.
3. Show and Tell
And here’s the result:
